If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
