how can u be prego again
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
