So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
