hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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