ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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