How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
