I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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