I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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