Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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