you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
