I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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