I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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