Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
