he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
