You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
