Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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