i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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