Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
