Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
