420 ftw
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
