So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize