last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
