brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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