Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
