Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
