Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You ate ashes out of my bong
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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