Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Randomize
