My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
