girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
