you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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