I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
