I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
