i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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