the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
