last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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