You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
