hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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