Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
