i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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