I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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