I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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