I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
