You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
