it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
