i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
