Non-Jews are for practice
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
