i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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