Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
