So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
