So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
