My friends, they love my intelligence
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
