Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
