O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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