This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
