And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
