She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
